My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
