Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
