Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
