I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize