I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
