it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
