I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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