Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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