When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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