you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
