Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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