So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize