weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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