your thong is hanging out like whoa
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
