In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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