I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
