Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
