i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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