I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
