He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize