Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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