The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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