If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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