it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
