Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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