nut hugger
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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