Pappa wants mamma naked
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
