To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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