Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
