Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
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Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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