Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
