I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
