Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
