brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
