Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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