You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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