I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
