We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize