well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
