This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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