And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
