I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize