You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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