just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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