my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
