IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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