I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
