so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
