I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
