oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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