just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
