Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
