i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
