That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
