The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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