Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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