I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
