i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
