You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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