I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
